Authorities have confirmed that at 8:00 a.m. eastern time, there was a massive poo-explosion in the small village of Millbrook, Ontario. The explosion, which read 8.0 on the Rectum scale, is believed to have taken place in the vicinity of Evelyn Maude Jackson's diaper.
At this time, no casualties have been reported, though experts agree that a serious health risk will be posed when it comes time to wash the clothes that Miss Jackson was wearing when the explosion took place.
Stay tuned for further updates.
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